(I wrote this for CBS This Morning when they challenged us to write a note to ourselves at twenty. Since they didn’t pick my essay I thought I would post this with WNIJ and here.)

Note to myself at twenty: 

If you met the man you will marry, you’d walk right by. He is no college grad. He can’t spell. He jokes about his nose. He lived with his mother. But you won’t walk by him at thirty. Those prayers you said while looking at white pines pointing at the constellation Sagittarius will come true. The men you will love will open your heart. 

You will meet your husband when he fixes your phone. Your home will be mouse-infested because you were out of town when the granary closed. You will chat, laundry basket on your hip, and make a date. He will bring his Shopvac to sweep up the mouse turds.  

You will stand under a tree in the moonlight, saying why he should not love you. He will hold you as gently as he might a sparrow. You will feel your body’s joy. But his hands are so smart he will fix a window sash. He will make a step back cupboard like the one you left in your childhood home. He will wrap you up in his arms first thing in the morning and hold you when you put your cat to sleep. 

He will leave his mother for you. He will say I do in a lovely deep voice and keep his promise year after year despite your fear he will abandon you. He will love you more than you have ever been loved before while he washes your clothes.  

I’m Katie Andraski and that’s my perspective. 

If you’d like to hear me read this at WNIJ, click here.


  • Mike Frosolono says:

    Great post!

  • LB Johnson says:

    He’s a good man. I did so enjoy seeing your wedding photos at your house, you just radiated happiness. Lovely post!

    • katiewilda says:

      Thank you so much. It was fun to share those photos with you! It’s amazing the grace the Lord brings to help us meet and love our spouses.

  • Mark says:

    Love your story of your love for Bruce, Katie.
    Love this song too by Jason Gray whose metaphor and beautifully simple lyrics reminded me of Bruce and you and me and Karen and Jesus and His Bride and the wonderful mystery the celibate saw in it all.

    “‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.”


    • katiewilda says:

      Mark thank you. You and Karen especially know some of the story. Your prayers have made a big difference. This song is a beautiful Christmas hymn that speaks to each of our love stories as well as the Lord’s love for us. Did you know that becoming one flesh has been shown by science to be a true thing? That somehow we are knit together on a cellular basis. That’s why when a spouse dies it often feels like part of us has been amputated.

  • Lynn D. Morrissey says:

    What a beautiful tribute. What a wonderful man. How treasured you are. How loved. How secure. I know that you too hold him close and will never let go.

    • katiewilda says:

      Lynn thank you so much for reading this and commenting. Your presence and support mean a great deal. Bruce is a wonderful man. I am very blessed that he’s part of my life. The insecurity thing is a battle though…I hope we get to meet someday. Love you back, Katie